A few weeks ago I made a list of what I needed and what I wanted in my life and in my career. This was soul-searching work. For so long I had operated from a place of want. I bought things because I wanted them. I had that extra glass of wine because I wanted it.I chose jobs because I wanted to be wanted. My wants were primal and fleeting.
I sat and pondered the question, “What do I really need?” The answer didn’t come easily. It was not in my nature to work from a place of need. Even admitting that I needed anything was painful. I went to my core values of love, safety and integrity. Yes, I needed these values operating in every aspect of my life, but how did I need them to show up?
Based on my core values, I came up with 5 needs that were important to me:
- I need to attract a work situation where the leader understands that I have a daughter and she come first.
- I need to surround myself with people and projects that help me grow as a professional and whole person.
- I need to have my own independent life that involves travel and living everyday as a grand adventure.
- I need to have a spiritual practice and conscious people in my life who empower me to accept myself as I am.
- I need to work from a place of service where I can give love and receive love through dedication, kindness and sensitivity.
Making a list of my wants was much easier. There was a desire for lots of money, perks like tickets and invitations to exciting events, meaningful recognition for my work, exciting work locations, and smart, sophisticated associates. After I made my two lists, what I needed started to arrive quickly and many of my wants came along as a bonus.
I have a lot of friends and colleagues who consistently get what they want. They are powerful people who can manifest their desires. The great job, car, girl or house… it all becomes a prize won, rather than a deep need fulfilled. So the desire for more things increases and the feeling of satisfaction doesn’t last. That gaping hole remains along with a feeling of restlessness and envy. Moving into a needs-based motivation simplifies, clarifies and attracts opportunities that are much deeper and more fulfilling. That’s my experience. I hope it is yours.
Robin Fisher Roffer has ignited brands of major corporations like Sony, Time-Warner and 20th Century Fox. For her work, she is ranked on the Top 5 List of Most Influential Brand Gurus in the World. She appears as a career expert on national TV programs such as ABC, Bloomberg and Fox. Learn more about Robin.